[lady in red] “there was no air / the sheets made ripples under his”

there was no air/ the sheets made ripples under his body like crumpled paper napkins in a summer park/ & lil specks of somethin from tween his toes or the biscuits from the day before ran in the sweat that tucked the sheet into his limbs like he was an ol frozen bundle of chicken/ & he’d get up to make coffee, drink wine, drink water/ he wished one of his friends who knew where he waz wd come by with some blow or some shit/ anything/ there was no air/ he’d see the spotlights in the alleyways downstairs movin in the air/ cross his wall over his face/ & get under the covers & wait for an all clear or till he cd hear traffic again/ there waznt nothing wrong with him/ there waznt nothing wrong with him/ he kept tellin crystal/ any niggah wanna kill vietnamese children more n stay home & raise his own is sicker than a rabid dog/ that’s how their thing had been goin since he got back/ crystal just got inta sayin whatta fool niggah beau was & always had been/ didnt he go all over uptown sayin the child waznt his/ waz some no counts bastard/ & any ol city police cd come & get him if they wanted/ cuz as soon as the blood type & shit waz together/ everybody wd know that crystal waz a no good lyin whore/ and this after she’d been his girl since she waz thirteen/ when he caught her on the stairway/ he came home crazy as hell/ he tried to get veterans benefits to go to school & they kept right on puttin him in remedial classes/ he cdnt read wortha damn/ so beau cused the teachers of holdin him back & got himself a gypsy cab to drive/ but his cab kept breakin down/ & the cops was always messin wit him/ plus not getting much bread/ & crystal went & got pregnant again/ beau most beat her to death when she tol him/ she still gotta scar under her right tit where he cut her up/ still crystal went right on & had the baby/ so now beau willie had two children / a little girl/ naomi kenya & a boy/ kwame beau willie brown/ & there waz no air/ how in the hell did he get in this mess anyway/ somebody went & tol crystal that beau was spendin alla his money on the bartendin bitch down at the merry-go-round cafe/ beau sat straight up in the bed/ wrapped up in the sheets lookin like john the baptist or a huge baby wit stubble & nuts/ now he hadta get alla that shit outta crystal’s mind/ so she wd let him come home/ crystal had gone & got a court order saying beau willie brown had no access to his children/ if he showed his face he waz subject to arrest/ shit/ she’d been in his ass to marry her since she was 14 years old & here when she was 22/ she wanna throw him out cuz he say he’ll marry her/ she burst out laughin/ hollerin whatchu wanna marry me for now/ so i can support yr ass/ or come sit wit ya when they lock yr behind up/ cause they gonna come for ya/ ya goddamn lunatic/ they gonna come/ & i’m not gonna have a thing to do wit it/ o no i wdnt marry yr pitiful black ass for nothing & she went on to bed/ the next day beau willie came in blasted & got ta swingin chairs at crystal/ who cdnt figure out what the hell he waz doin/ til he got ta shoutin bout how she waz gonna marry him/ & get some more veterans benefits/ & he cd stop drivin them crazy spics round/ while they tryin to kill him for $15/ beau was sweatin terrible/ beatin on crystal/ & he cdnt do no more with the table n chairs/ so he went to get the high chair/ & lil kwame waz in it/ & beau was beatin crystal with the high chair & her son/ & some notion got inta him to stop/ an he run out/ crystal most died/ that’s why the police wdnt low beau near where she lived/ & she’d been tellin the kids their daddy tried to kill her & kwame/ & he just wanted to marry her/ that’s what/ he wanted to marry her/ & have a family/ but the bitch waz crazy/ beau willie waz sittin in this hotel in his drawers drinkin coffee & wine in the heat of the day spillin shit all over hisself/ laughin/ bout how we waz gonna get crystal to take him back/ & let him be a man in the house/ & she wdnt even have to go to work no more/ he got dressed all up in his ivory shirt & checkered pants to go see crystal & get this mess all cleared up/ he knocked on the door to crystal’s rooms/ & she didnt answer/ he beat on the door & crystal & naomi started cryin/ beau gotta shoutin again how he wanted to marry her/ & waz she always gonna be a whore/ or did she wanna husband/ & crystal just kept on screamin for him to leave us alone/ just leave us alone/ so beau broke the door down/ crystal held the children in fronta her/ she picked kwame off the floor/ in her arms/ & she held naomi by her shoulders/ & kept on sayin/ beau willie brown/ get outta here/ the police is gonna come for ya/ ya fool/ get outta here/ do you want the children to see you act the fool again you want kwame to brain damage from you throwin him round/ niggah/ get outta here/ get out & don’t show yr ass again or i’ll kill ya/ i swear i’ll kill ya/ he reached for naomi/ crystal grabbed the lil girl & stared at beau willie like he waz a leper or somethin/ dont you touch my children/ mothafucker/ or i’ll kill you/ beau willie jumped back all humble & apologetic/ i’m sorry/ i dont wanna hurt em/ i just wanna hold em & get on my way/ i dont wanna cuz you no more trouble/ i wanted to marry you & give ya things what you gonna give/ a broken jaw/ niggah get outta here/ he ignored crystal’s outburst & sat down motionin for naomi to come to him/ she smiled back at her daddy/ crystal felt naomi givin in & held her tighter/ naomi/ pushed away & ran to her daddy/ crying/ daddy, daddy come back daddy/ come back/ but be nice to mommy/ cause mommy loves you/ and ya gotta be nice/ he sat on his knee/ & played with her ribbons & they counted fingers & toes/ every so often he looked over to crystal holdin kwame/ like a statue/ & he’d say/ see crystal/ i can be a good father/ now let me see my son/ & she didn’t move/ & he coaxed her & he coaxed her/ tol her she waz still a hot lil ol thing & pretty & strong/ didnt she get right up after that lil ol fight they had & go back to work/ beau willie oozed kindness & crystal who had known so lil/ let beau hold kwame/ as soon as crystal let the baby outta her arms/ beau jumped up a laughin & a gigglin/ a hootin & a hollerin/ awright bitch/ awright bitch/ you gonna marry me/ you gonna marry me . . . i aint gonna marry ya/ i aint ever gonna marry ya/ for nothin/ you gonna be in the jail/ you gonna be under the jail for this/ now gimme my kids/ ya give me back my kids/ he kicked the screen outta the window/ & held the kids offa the sill/ you gonna marry me/ yeh, i’ll marry ya/ anything/ but bring the children back in the house/ he looked from where the kids were hangin from the fifth story/ at alla the people screamin at him/ & he started sweatin again/ say to alla the neighbors/ you gonna marry me/ i stood by beau in the window/ with naomi reachin for me/ kwame screamin mommy mommy from the fifth story/ but i cd only whisper/ & he dropped em