for my dead & loved ones

(for gail, tracie & viola) whatever shall i do with my dead my tombs & mausoleums these potted plants tended by strangers over yr eyes closed maybe dreaming dead/ loved so particularly i dont know what to do with you shall i see you dancin/ hold yr child askin/ what’s mammy like should i sleep with yr husband who sees yr childself in my memories yr mother will she bosom talk me to death with you pretend she has been no mother our smokey robinson fantasies set aside recollections comin to no good end grandma/ grandma must i ride with yr daughters to sit in the cemetery on sunny days/ weedin yr womb/ wdnt it be better if i stayed in my kitchen/ makin gumbo/ codfish cakes watchin edge of nite/ rubbin me hands of my apron/ hummin his eye is on the sparrow yr photograph at 25 is on my wall awready you had given yr woman over/ no one wd know you/ only mama is remembered when waz there more i shall not lie fondling a dead man’s love bakin apples for a locket jammed with hair from a head no longer arrogant but what shall i do with my dead/ loved so particularly leavin me/ specifically some never stop breathin wantin kisses some disappear/ slammin the door bangin the phone one went off in a VW bus/ another stole my sleep i sit here drinking memories entertainin ghosts/ longin for arms no longer warm/ too enchanted to tend the pulse pushin me on to go off from you/ my dead & loved ones when i meet a someone/ i must know i place you round me like a court of holy seers if this stranger is to have a space in my life she must pull yr spirits to her own for i wander regularly in moments of the dead if you wd have me speak you must learn the tongue of my dead & loved ones i have been left behind a survivor holdin out for more